A Little Guide to the Spiritual World of Shit

Taoism: Shit happens.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Islam: Shit is the will of Allah.
Protestantism: We must work harder for our shit.
Catholicism: Seek forgiveness for your shit.
Christian Fundamentalism: Shit happens because the Bible says so.
Jehovah's Witnesses: Knock, knock, "We bring you shit."
Judaism: Shit always happens to us!
Agnosticism: We don't know shit.
Atheism: No shit.
Rastafarianism: Hey, good shit, got a light?
Humanism: It is Human shit.